ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
