That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize