Sry I called you an 8
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
