You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
