yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize