i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
