i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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