I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
