The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
