i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize