I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
