I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
