im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize