btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
