Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
