Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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