He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
