My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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