i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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