If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
