How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
high people should be assigned attendants
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
