On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize