By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
