if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
