dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
being pregnant is like rehab
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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