How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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