I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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