i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
