Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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