He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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