I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
