No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Boobs speak an international language.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
