got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
