I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
do nipples grow back?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
