my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
