'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
