you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
