Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
