So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
