On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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