I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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