The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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