normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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