real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
