scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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