Grow some girl-balls and come out already
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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