Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
