I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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