it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
