i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
