rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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