It's like God shit irony all over that family
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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