jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize