I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
