You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
