Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize