distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
my poor anus
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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