Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
