Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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